From
Last one month, I am searching for a real story of women but not able to find
it just because no one wants to share their dark side publicly, but finally I
got one in my mail…I can say it’s very painful for every girl...
Neena:
Actually, the abuser is none other than my husband. This was a five year old
story. One night, I was cooking and my husband came from his work place and
gave me a cold drink and said that it was a herbal drink and asked to have it.
After taking it, I have started feeding my son but I cloud not, I was feeling
very sleepy. I was surprised that how I am getting sleep very early but I dint
thought much on this and told my husband to feed him since I am going to sleep.
He said “finally it worked” but I didn’t suspected much on his words and went
to sleep.
It’s
the story of Neena (changed name)
I
am writing it in Interview format.
Me: Tell something about your
background..
Neena:
I got married ten years back and having a eight year old son, working for
helping my husband in household expenses... Living in nuclear family…and my son
is studying.
Me: When and how you met abuser?
 |
| True story of Neena, our intention is to aware people about the girl's life. |
I
went to sleep but I could not sleep. I was having lots of different sensation
in my body; I don’t how to express it with words. I was feeling burning
sensation on my body, my body doesn’t reacts, I can listen to all sounds which
a normal people can’t able to hear. I was feeling like I lost my control over
my body and I have only a mind that can think of it. I have started crying and
my tears were coming out from my eyes but I am not able to open my eyes or wipe
it.
At
that time only, I got that my husband had gave me some drug in that drink and
that’s why he didn’t allowed my son to take it and he also refused to drink and
now his words “finally it worked” were shouting in my ears but I was not able
to understand why he gave it to me.
Suddenly,
he came to me when I was thinking all this and in half sleep. He came, sits
very near to me and started touching me body. He was touching my body in such a
way that it was only a material to use and throw. He started playing with my
body and slowly removing my cloths and started biting my all over, I was crying
but he didn’t given any attention on it. I was shocked with his behavior and not
able think how to react on this. I was not ready for this, suddenly I collect
my all will power and put all strength to move my hands, but I could not.. Then
finally I hold his hair and throw him a side and he went out and thought to
come after some time.
Again
after one hour, he came and tried the same. But this time, I stand up on my
foot, I was not able to walk properly but still I went to a different room and
locked myself. He came there also and started breaking the door and came inside
this time he didn’t wait for my sleep but he started doing the same…again I
went to different room.
Whole
night, he did the same but he didn’t succeed in his aim. Whole night, I was
thinking like that I won’t see the next morning and this is my last night.
Me: How it affects you?
Neena:
I was in a shock and not sure on how to react on my husband's behavior. Should
I fight with him??? Should I say it my parents?? If in case, I want to say this
to them, then how to say it? I was not that much close to my parents, even not
with my mother... I said this to them, they have just scolded him, but didn’t
take any other step. I was emotionally and psychologically disturbed after this
incident. I was not able to talk him properly and asked any question but some
where I felt everything is dead inside me. I stopped talking with my close
friend also.
Me: Have you shared this with anyone?
Neena:
After few days, I have started talking with relatives about this, because I was
broken and I want to share it and have any suggestion and I was not able to
forgive him. Whenever I said this to anyone, they gave me hint that every
husband had all rights to do sex with his wife. I was thinking that he had raped
me but according to our Indian Society this is not a rape…He has right to do
this with me...
Me: Has this affected your romantic relationships? Has
it affected your feelings about trust or sex?
Neena:
Yes it affected our relation, from that day I didn’t went to near him and I
never talked to my husband comfortably. I never trusted him after that. I used
to suspect on him always.
Me: Did you take any legal steps?
Neena:
No, I did not take any legal step because whenever I share this with any one in
relatives, most of them advised me that
somehow and started saying that he has right to do anything. No one is there to
support me at that time. So I have decided to suppress my feelings and make myself
compromised with him to live on the same house, but I could not able to forgive
him. Till now, I am with him but never shared my feelings with him nowadays
since we have too much communication gap.
*****For Reader: Do you know anyone who's been abused?
Any questions or suggestions for Neena?
14 comments:
hi neena i am shocked after reading this but u r right no one have right to force. even husband also but our society needs to change.i don't want to give suggestion because u know better than us about u r situation think twice before doing any thing i hope u have good level of thinking hope for the best
Hi, reading this story have clicked the mind to think upon again n again , I hv a sympathy with the character Neena by the bottom of my heart but she has to overcome herself.Doing such act by husbands or depriving the wife from this right both r abusive in common way. There r so many stories which r hidden in d Indian context. Woman do not dare to tell her problem due to societal restrictions.Keep writing. all the best.
स्त्री है तो दुनिया में श्रृंगार है ,
प्रेम का भाव है,
स्त्री है तो कल है,
They always consider their men as God. Can't we make them Goddess or even provide the right to live for our own betterment.
heyz Neena, i wud suggest that u shud talk to ur husband about this n ask him y he did this!
talk openly and disscusse with yr man and get shorted bring all these here it will be only story noting else.
@Neena- I must suggest you that communication gap is not the solution. You should have direct conversation with your husband and make him realize that he has hurt your self respect, otherwise till death he would never come to know what wrong has he done to his wife.This is your responsibility to overcome your depression and do it as soon as possible and leave the results in the hands of God.
This is the brutal fact of our society, I can't even imagine "whats going on with you" but this is pathetic and feels like that Jerk should be punished. However, our constitution is so weak that nothing much will be done, even if she files a complain.
But you need to face the situation and your husband.. Talk to him and try to short it out, if not leave him and start a new life. Because life this, you will not be able to live a happy life. God Bless you and give you the strength to fight...
No one asked what was the use of drug it smells fishy that a husband is doing so without any reason. Though this act is wrong in any case but why full storey has not been told. half spoken truth is worst than lie. Was her husband a psycho? Or there is something else which may change the whole story?
If you are thinking that there is any thing that can change the whole story then I can say no its not like that. Actually our relational was very pathetic from many aspects and before this incident he left me and said he wants divorce from me and that time I rejected and he dint came back till 2 months and I went under depression.
One day he came back but don't know what was his intention behind that but I never able to forgive him and accept him as earlier. After that our relation become worse and he did this to me.
This was the full story in short.
Hi,neena ,i was shocked after reading ur story,,how could ur husband do this,,its rediculous,,,i m also a man but wat ur husband do its terrible...
I think the decision of all relatives was wrong...such type of persons can never be adopted as husbands in true sense of life and in the minds of any woman. The main reason to bite the wife may be that he is unable to intercourse at all but his feelings for sex are on their higher side. The persons who are incapable to do sex go for such things and its quite practical. He must have the feelings in his mind that he is not fit to intercourse. One more practical thing is that if any husband is incapable to do proper sex with his wife...he has such feelings in his mind that what her wife will be thinking about him when he failed to sex with her. But, I would say that even a husband cannot dare to do sex with her wife in such a way as he did and he is not at all able to call a husband.
Force to sex is illegal and against all laws relating to married life either by any husband or a wife..
i know thats the real story...i know all abt that girls...
In India, males take females as foregranted. They think women, particularly their wives should not have their own minds and should follow their instructions like puppets...they think that wtever they ask them to do is a women's duty and they are supposed to fulfill that without complaining or without even thinking. I can only think that the root cause is PARENTING PROBLEM. Girls are restricted at every point for not doing this and that whereas boys are left free to behave anything and parents also say "ladka hai kuch to bahar karega hi...bas ghar tak baat nahi pahunchni chahiye". Somebody ask those parents do they have same thinking for their daughter's actions also!!! Boys would only respect their wives if they see the same respect to all female members in their family!!
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